Regret
by goldengreaser
Summary: With a simple insult Remus Lupin's father forever changed his young son's life
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I do not own ****_Harry Potter_**

_John Lupin worked for the Ministry of Magic in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures . His job was a modest one but it offered decent and supported his little family. And John was proud of his job. _

_John worked with werewolves and he felt good about what he did.. "Keep those dangerous buggers off the street away from normal people." He would say. For John had his prejudices and they did effect his job._

** Cherrywood Downs**

John apparated outside the door to the small cottage he shared with his wife and young son. He walked up the steps and opened the door. His wife came in drying her hands on her apron, she smiled. "Busy day dear?"

"Things were quiet for once but I expect them to pick up once the full moon hits."

"Oh my." Audrey held a hand to her mouth.

"Yes." John cleared his throat. "Is Remy still awake?"

Audrey smiled. "I suspect he is held up in his room reading."

"Smart lad, did lessons go well?"

Audrey smiled. "He was able to name the last fifteen ministers of magic and their terms of service."

John smiled with pride. All though his wife was a muggle she had read up on wizarding history and astronomy. She was Remus's teacher from home and wanted him to have a small basis when he started Hogwarts. So she had started teaching the subjects along with reading, arithmetic and science to their young son.

He was coming along swimmingly. Little Remus was intelligent, kind and rather funny. John could not be prouder. He would make sure that his son was quiet safe from any beast, most especially werewolves. Nothing was going to harm Remus on his watch.

"I think I'll pop in, shall I?"

John walked down the hall into their son's tiny room. "Hello Remy."

Remus put his book down. "Dad!" He broke into a wide toothy grin; the small gaps between his gums making him look rather adorable.

"Were you good for your mum?"

"Yes sir." Remus said eagerly. "I even did magic. It made mum laugh."

"Did you now, what sort of mischief did you conjure up? "

Remus nodded. "I wanted a cookie and mum wouldn't let me. It came right to me."

"And you knew your history I am told?"

Remus nodded John settled himself on the bed and little Remus crawled into his lap. . "Smart lad. You'll make Prefect at Hogwarts."

"Really?" Remus's eyes were wide and excited.

"Oh yes son. You will be a great wizard." If only John had known.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- I do not own _Harry Potter. _

**The Next Day**

**_Ministry of Magic Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures_**

John Lupin shuffled the papers on his desk. A witch wearing dark brown robes walked in. "There is a Fernier Greyback to see you sir."

Werewolf mutts, how he loathed them all and Greyback, the old scoundrel being among the lowliest of the lot he hated him all the more. "Tell the mongrel he can come in."

The witch hurried out of the room and fetched a rather large and ratty looking man who seemed purposely hairy and ragged. His teeth and nails were yellowed and he smelled so fowl that John had to turn out his nose. _"Werewolves, how disgusting."_

"Well out with it Greyback. I have not got all day. If you have something to say before we begin you best say it now"

"Manner, manners Mr. Lupin, I do not believe you asked me to take a seat." Even his voice grated on John's nerves, scratchy and full of malice.

"Nor did I intend to. Now out with it Greyback. I have more important business to attend to. If you must sit down then dust off you're robes."

"My, my not very hospitable are we?" Greyback asked, eyes flashing.

"I do not associate myself with beasts Mr. Greyback but business is business."

"Yes, yes." John was getting rather annoyed. He really could not stand to be around beasts and Greyback's tone was starting to grate on his nerves. But work was work and the sooner it was over with the sooner werewolves like Greyback could be put in their place, the lowly animals that they were.

"I received a summons as it were. Marks is it now? I do not believe I really want one. You see wolves are not your little pets. I am afraid I do not wish to be marked as it were. I believe a collar could not be more degrading."

"I'd much rather you have chains." John mumbled fingering his wand in his pocket. You could not trust a werewolf as far as they could be thrown, Greyback least of all, the rumors that were growing…...

"What was that?" Greyback growled.

"Nothing."

"So it would seem." Greyback looked around the room.

John tapped his foot. "Now out with it Greyback, present your arm. You most have the mark. So I'd prefer to get it over with if you please."

"I think not," Greyback huffed, "What's next sterilization?"

"In a perfect world yes, no little half-breed pups running amuck."

"And take away our little pleasures, I think not. But speaking of pups…" He smiled wickedly. "You have one a wager, that drawing on your desk….."

John blanched and turned to look at the drawing Remus had made for him of their family. "It is no business of yours." John said hoarsely.

Greyback laughed. "Tell me Lupin, do you love the little runt? It would be rather a shame if something would happen to him."

John clenched his fists. The rumors about what Greyback had done to children were blood curling. If he even thought about getting near Remus… "You bloody…"

"Temper, temper Mr. Lupin. However I would be careful, full moon's soon. Is the little brat afraid of monsters?"

"Get out, get out now!"

Greyback snarled. "Of course but Mr. Lupin I wouldn't want to intrude." He made to leave but turned around. "Oh and I would be careful who I insult. It may not be you who pays the price. I'd hate for anything to happen to that delicious little brat of yours." He licked his lips.

John stood up his blood boiling, "Stupefy!" But Greyback was already gone. John sat down numbly looking at the picture his son, his Remy had drawn. He felt sick.

**That Night Cherrywood Downs**

John Lupin sat on the sofa glancing out the window every few minutes. He was shaking like a leaf. He heard someone behind him and jumped.

"Mum is dad sick?" Remus, it was Remus, it would seem he had been unable to hear his son.

Audrey bit her lip. "Why don't you go get him a snack and some milk Remus? I'll see if I can cheer him up."

"Okay mum." Remus scampered off and John looked at his wife. His face was pale and his eyes were watery.

"John?" Audrey touched her husband's shoulder. "John what is it?"

"Nothing dear, nothing." How could he tell her what he had done, the danger he had put their son in? She would never forgive him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- I do not own **_**Harry Potter**_

**Night of the Full Moon**

John Lupin found himself coming home late that evening, the last thing he wanted. Audrey met him at the door. "Hello dear."

"Where is Remus?"

"I'm sorry? I didn't catch that?"

"Where is Remus?"

Audrey laughed. "He's catching lightning bugs in the meadow outback."

"He's outside?"

"Yes, he needed fresh air. Is anything wrong dear? You seem upset."

"Call him in."

"What dear?"

"Call him in now."

"It's not so late.."

"Now."

"John you're acting funny."

John bit his lip. "I.."

There was a blood curling scream. "Remus!"

"Stay here Audrey."

"but…"

"Stay here!"

John Lupin pushed past his wife wand in hand. He ran outside. "John!"

"Remus.. Remus."

"Dad, Mum, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."

John Lupin ran as fast as his legs could carry him. "Lumos." A big light shone. What John saw stopped his heart for a moment. A large grey werewolf stood over his son biting and clawing.

"Remus!"

"Audrey?" Greyback and John both looked up. Greyback snarled and tussled Remus in his mouth and through him to the ground.

He leapt but John was fast. "Expecto Protronim." The werewolf took off from the bright light.

'Remus!"

"Stay back Audrey."

'But…"

"Stay back. It could be dangerous."

John walked slowly over to his son, 'the victim' He felt violently ill. There was so much blood, so much blood, his son's blood. John kneeled over his son, careful not to touch anything. _"Werewolf bites are contaminated.."_

He was bleeding profusely and was unconscious. But he was breathing. _"It would be more merciful to let him die really."_ The back of John's mind told him. _"But this is Remus, your little Remy. Could you live without him forever? Could you face Audrey?" _He looked at her.

"John, is.. is he…?" Audrey was crying.

John shook his head. "Go get the floo powder. We must get him to St Mungos. They will be able to treat him. _"Treat but not cure. He'll be a monster, a mongrel, not even human…"_

Audrey nodded and took off running. "Wingardium Leviosa." With the flick of his wand John Lupin levitated his son. He floated him toward the house.

Audrey turned around and gasped. 'why, why aren't you carrying him John. He's our son?"

"_Remus is gone. Better not to be contaminated_.""I do not wish to break any bones. We must be careful." He lied.

"_This is your son. He is still your so."_

Audrey stepped into the fire place with her husband still not very content with travling by magical means. She held onto his arm and tightly. "St Mungos!"

And they were there

**Hours later Saint Mungos Ward Six**

"Mr. Lupin I imagine you can understand the gravity of the situation." The healer spoke. John grabbed his wife's hand and held it tightly.

"Yes, I believe I am equipped to understand."

"Then you know of course that your son has contracted lycanthropy."

"She doesn't mean…." Audrey gasped she looked at her husband.

He nodded gloomily. "Come full moon Remus will transform into…" Jon's voice cracked, "into a monster."

"John how can, how can you say that?" Audrey was crying.

"I am sure you know your options then."

John took a deep breath. They had three, euphanisha, abandonment and of course bringing Remus home. He never thought he would have to chose though.

"John?" Audrey asked. "What is she talking about?"

John squeezed her hands tightly. "We have three options, we bring Remus home.."

"Why wouldn't we? He's our son, they can help him, they can"

"There is no cure. Every full moon he will transform. He will lose the conscious part of the mind and the beast will take over. It would be painful, excruciating. And we would be in danger even with the proper enchantments. We will be osterzsided from society, Remus above all."

"The other options are…"

"We throw him on the streets, a danger to society or…." _"Could you do that to your son? But it was better. He would be in no pain, no transformation. It would be quick and painless. Fare more merciful. A Do werewolves need mercy. They have no feelings. But this is Remus, Remus. He's just a child. He's your son, your one and only son…"_

"John.."

It was all John could do not tpo cry. His wife was a muggle, she knew very little of dark creatures. She wouldn't understand. "The other option is that we, we euthanasia."

Audrey gasped and pulled her hand away. "John, you can't possibly be considering. Its murder. We can't…" She was sobbing.

"It is for the better Ms. Lupin. We simply stupefy him and give a highly potent sleeping drought mixed with an equally high does aconite and silver. He will die within minutes. He will feel very little pain. It is far better then if he was caught by the ministry after an attack."

"No, NO John please… my baby, not my baby.." John wrapped his arms around his wife.

"_He's just a werewolf, a mongruel no good… no he's you're Remus, you're little boy."_

"He comes home with us." John said sternly. _"I'm sorry Remus. This is my fault. If I hadn't insulted Greyback… I will not kill you. It would be more merciful but… I just can't bring myself to do it."_

"He will have to be registered, his markings listed. You'll have to have a safe room. "

"We have a cellar."

"Very well."

John hardly remembered walking into the ward with Audrey to see Remus. Most of his wounds were covered by his gown but a heavy scratch on his face was visible and their were dried blood stains on the gown. He watched numbly as Audrey ran to the little boy's bedside. But he was a monster now, the very thing John hated the most, what a fitting ironic revenge. To turn his son whom he loved into the thing he loathed.

"_Now out with it Greyback. You most have the mark. So I'd much prefer to get it over with if you please."_

"_I think not. What's next sterilization?"_

"_In a perfect world yes, no little half-breed pups running amuck."_

What had he done, what had he done?

Remus moaned. John's heart leapt in his chest.


	4. Chapter 4

John Lupin had been avoiding his little son like the plague. He could not bear to look at his young son anymore. Little Remus was a monster a fowl murderous beast, a mutt, a mongurel, not even human. But then he would catch a quick glance at his son.

Remus was so sad, so quiet, so human. But he was not, not anymore. And it was his own fault, John's fault that his little son was a beast.

Remus was too weak to get out of bed. Audrey wouldn't stand for keeping him at St Mungos. _"They look at him like he's a monster John. He's a sick scared little boy_." John Lupin could not find it in him to correct his wife.

"_She's a muggle wouldn't understand. Let her have her delusions one more month."_

The sound of footsteps bounded in his office. He looked up. His boss Nathan Roswell was there with a very plump eighteen year old girl, his intern most likely. "Hello sir, nice morning isn't it."

Roswell cleared his throat. " I, oh yess of course."

"How may I help you sir?" John felt his stomach churn. He knew exactly why his boss was there.

"Your son was in Saint Mungos recently…"

"Yes sir…."

"Bitten by a werewolf?"

"Yes sir……."

"And he have you reported it?"

'Yes sir." _"Please no…."_

"Has he been registered?"

"Not yet sir?"

"bring him in for his mark tomorrow."

John looked at the calendar. The full moon was less than a week away. Remus was still very ill from the bite in the first place. If the cases he had seen rang true his son would already be sick soon…

"_What do you care he's just a monster, a freak. But he's not he's Remus. Remus could never hurt a soul. But the wolf could…. Remus is sick. He's a sick scared little boy. This will make things worse. But it's the law…"_

"Yes sir."

"And John….."

John swallowed a lump in his throat. "Yes Mr Roswell, sir?"

'I think it best if we transfer you to the Centaur Liaison office, hmm?? Can't have your personal feelings interfering. Seeing the boy in ever beast that comes through these doors."

"Of, course not.."

"I am sorry for this John. I'm sure he was a nice boy. Such a burden. If you are still considering euphanaishia… it can be arranged. Such a waste…" The plump girl rolled her eyes and followed Roswell out the office.

John put his head in his hands.

"_The other options are…"_

"_We throw him on the streets, a danger to society or………"_

"_John.."_

_It was all John could do not to cry. His wife was a muggle, she knew very little of dark creatures. She wouldn't understand. "The other option is that we, we euthanasia."_

_Audrey gasped and pulled her hand away. "John, you can't possibly be considering. Its murder. We can't…" She was sobbing._

"_It is for the better Ms. Lupin. We simply stupefy him and give a highly potent sleeping drought mixed with an equally high does aconite and silver. He will die within minutes. He will feel very little pain. It is far better then if he was caught by the ministry after an attack."_

"_No, NO John please… my baby, not my baby.." John wrapped his arms around his wife._

John lifted his head. Remus's drawing was still on the desk. The smiling happy family of the childish drawing was no more.

**That Night Cherrywood Downs**

John apperated silently outside the door of the cottage and opened the front door. He could here voices from inside Remus's room.

He cast a muffling charm so his family would not hear him and walked closer to get a better listen.

"Mummy?"

"What is it Remy dear, does it hurt?"

"A little not too bad."

"Do you feel sick?"

Again. "Only a little."

"What is it then love?"

"Dad, he doesn't like me anymore, does he?"

John's heart lurched in his chest.

"Oh Remus.. you're daddy loves you very much…" Audrey must have been close to tears. John noticed a catch in her voice.

'He doesn't tuck me in anymore. He doesn't want to be with me. Is it because I'm sick now? Does he hate me because I'm going to be a wolf soon?"

"Remus where did you hear that?"

"I read it in one of daddy's books."

John sighed. _"My poor clever little Remus. I should have known. He's so smart."_

"Where did you get one?"

John could almost picture his son with that guilty loom on his face.

"I got it from his office. Please don't be mad mum."

"_He's so smart, so good. But how can he still be. He's one of the,. He's one of them."_

"I'm not dear."

"Dad'll be, won't he mum? He hates me, doesn't he?"

He pulled out the picture from his pocket. _"Oh Remus…. How could you ever be a monster?"_

Sighing John muttered the counter and walked into the room.

"Am I too late for a bed time story?"

Remus pale and gaunt buried his head into Audrey's shoulder. Audrey glanced at her husband. John could not place that look. Shock, horror, relief; what was it?

"Of course not. Remus do you want to say hello to your father?"

"Hi." His voice was so meak, so gentle and scared. _"You're a great giant git you know. He's just a boy. He's not a boy. Just a monster cub but the cub will grow up. He'll kill you, he'll kill you both?"_

John hated this inter conflict. He wanted it to be good again.

_Remus put his book down. "Dad!" He broke into a wide toothy grin. The small gaps making him look rather adorable._

"_Were you good for your __mum?"_

"_Yes sir." Remus said eagerly. "I even did magic. It made mum laugh."_

"_Did you now? "_

_Remus nodded. "I wanted a cookie and mum wouldn't let me. It came right to me."_

"_And you knew your history I am told?"_

_Remus nodded John settled himself on the bed and little Remus crawled into his lap. . "Smart lad. You'll make prefect at Hogwarts."_

"_Really?"_

"_Oh yes son. You will be a great wizard."_

"Remy?"

Remus looked up. "Dad?"

"We need to talk."

"Mummy too?"

John looked at Audrey and nodded. Remus crawled into his father's lap. John flinched _"Get off me, get off me you fowl.." _He took a deep breath. _"Nothing's happening. You're okay. It's just remus. Yiu know better then this John. You're prejudices are getting in the way of you're brain. The wolf isn't here now. It's just Remus, just little Remy."_

"Mummy too."

"Remus you have to go to work with me tomorrow."

"How come?"

"_He must have read an older book_."

"You know when you got bitten it made you sick Remy."

"I become a werewolf." Remus said simply. The casualty of the sentence unnerved John.

"Yes. Here a some laws.."

"I'm not going to jail am I? I don't want to go to jail I…" John's lip twitched. _"He's so young, he's still innocent."_

"As long as we make sure you do not bite anyone you will not go to jail."

"Good cause I don't think I'd like it. I read about, the, the um…"

"Dementors?"

Remus nods. 'They sound scary, scarier than that wolf man." _"If only you understood, really understood."_

"The law says you have to regester and get a mark, a tattoo of sorts."

"That's not to bad. Does the tattoo hurt?"

"Its done with a wand." _"You've done it a million times. It does hurt. Tell him the truth. It twinges."_ It stings a bit."

"Like a shot. Mom took me to the muggle doctor once……"

"Yes Remy." _"How could this little child be a monster?"_

"But Remus I need you to understand something. Once people know what you are they will be different…"

"How?"

"_You're a jerk John."_ John licked his lips. "People are afraid of werewolves and this makes them hate them. The wizard children won't play with you. You will never be able to keep a job and people will say some mean things, horrible things."

"Is that why you don't love me anymore? Do you hate them? You hate me too don't you" Remus was crying he had crawled off of his father's lap.

John felt as if he were under the Cruciatus curse. _"You are a truly horrible person. This is you're son, you're only son. He is not a monster."_

'Remy I am a bloody prat, an idiot, a git…."

"Language John."

"But I am Audrey. Yes Remus I have been a bigot, a horrible person. I base my opinions on werewolves on what I've been told on a few horrible ones. And I admit this is why I have been avoiding you. " He lifted Remus back into his lap.

Remus would not look at him. "Remy, mate look at me." John was crying.

Remus looked at him. His now grey eyes were soon to be amber. The full moon was closer. His eyes were misty, large wet orbs. They were so innocent.

"Remy I have been very, very wrong and stupid. I've let my prejudices get the best of me. I could never ever hate you. You are my son. You are a werewolf but you are your own person. I love you very much. We're best mates aye?"

Remus smiled. "Always."

'Always. Can you forgive you're silly old dad?"

Remus smiled widely and hugged his father. "Of course but dad?"

"Yes Remy?" Remus yawned sleepily.

"You're not silly."

And he was asleep. John looked at his wife.

"So you've come to you're senses then?"

"yes." She kissed his cheek.

"Good. You had Remus very upset you great git."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer- I do not own **_**Harry Potter**_

John licked his lips as he held onto Remus's hands. _"Remember he's your son, he's your son."_ Remus held on tighter and John looked down at his son. Remus sported scarlet and brown robes over a t-shirt and overalls.

"_He looks so cute, so human. Your father is a very stupid Remus. He is sorry."_

"Daddy, I'm scared." John looked down at his son once more. Remus was pale and sickly looking. His eyes were wet and starting to turn amber. _"of course the cycle is beginning. Of all times to regester him. He looks so harmless right now. What was I thinking. He''s just a boy."_

"It will be all right Remy. How about some ice cream at Florean's after we're all done?"

Remus sniffled. "And the bookstore?" _"You can't tell a werewolf by looks. You have to know. Let him be a normal child one more day. You got him in this mess. Let him have one more moment of happiness. The registry process is awful enough."_

"Of course mate."

"John?" John looked up.

"Stay here a minute Remy."

"Okay."

Audrey pulled John into the kitchen. "Can we afford all that?"

John sighed. "We'll make do. I'll have time to look for a new job once the transfer goes through. The registry process is horrible believe me. At the office they… that is to say we…" Guilt fell over John. His old prejudices were coming to bite him in the butt.

"It is taken for granted that werewolves are indeed blessed with human emotions. The process wasn't designed to be humane. Belive me I know.

"_Well out with it Greyback."_

"_Manner, manners Mr. Lupin, I do not believe you asked me to take a seat."_

"_Nor did I intend to. Now out with it Greyback. I have more important business to attend to. If you must sit then dust off you're robes."_

"_My, my not very hospitable are we."_

"_I do not associate myself with beasts Mr. Greyback but business is business."_

"_Yes, yes." _

"_I received a summons as it were. Marks is it now? I do not believe I really want a mark. You see wolves are not your little pets. I am afraid I do not wish to be marked as it were. I believe a collar could not be more degrading."_

"_I'd much rather you have chains." John mumbled fingering his wand in his pocket. _

"_What was that?" Greyback growled._

"_Nothing."_

"_So it would seem." Greyback growled._

"_Now out with it Greyback. You most have the mark. So I'd much prefer to get it over with if you please."_

"_I think not. What's next sterilization?"_

"_In a perfect world yes, no little half-breed pups running amuck."_

"The conversation alone will not be pleasant. They will not care that Remus is a little boy." John barked in a hushed whisper. " "As cruel as I was to him they will be crueler. The mark hurts worse then I let on as well.

Audrey let out a soft sob. John held her tightly. "He's ill as well. He always will be before the… the change. It makes matters worse. He will need the excursion."

Audrey nodded. "John."

"Dear?"

"Don't you get yourself caught up in their prejudices when you get in. Remus is still Remus."

John kissed her cheek. "I will."

He walked back into the living room. Remus was sitting on the sofa his legs dangling over the edge. _"Why you Remus? Why not me instead? Why can't I be the monster, the fowl beast… Remember he is human, he is human."_

"Ready mate?" Remus nodded and jumped of the sofa. He clutched his father's hand. They stepped into the fireplace.

"Do you want to say it Remus?"

Remus shook his head, clutching his father tighter. _"He really is frightened."_

"Ministry of Magic."

The walked to an elevator and Remus held on even tighter, gazing about himself. John's lip twitched. People were staring at them. But perhaps it was just John's imagination.

Father and son reached the right floor and stepped off. "Have a seat Remy."

"Okay Dad."

Remus sat down and his legs dangled. John walked into his bosses office and grunted. Roswell looked up.

"Ah Lupin, you brought the wolf then?"

"_Are you that much of an arse? Is that how you sound?_" John cleared his throat once more. "My son is outside yes."

"Bring the mutt into Finn's office." _"Mutt? How dare he Remus is… Wait a second what am are you doing John? Not an hour ago even you were trying to say the same things. "_

"Well are you going to get it?"

John fingered his wand. _'It's one thing for me to be cruel to Remus but I can't take this. He's my son."_ John licked his lips. _"Well then you're finally coming your senses."_

"I will be bringing Remus to his office now. Good day sir."

It had taken everything in John to be civil right then and there. He knew it would take even more in the next minutes, he knew. John walked out.

"Come on Remus we have to go to another office."

"Okay dad."

Remus hoped off and took his father's hand. _"it's so much smaller then mine. It's sweaty as well. He is scared."_

John tried to smile at his son.

They walked into the cramped room that was the registration office. "I do not believe I called the mongrel in."

John looked at Remus who had a hurt stricken look on his face. _"I should have better prepared him."_

"Roswell sent us here."

"Very well. Lets get on with it then." He stood up and grabbed Remus roughly from John's arms. John felt another whelp of anger but allowed himself to calm.

'Right then full name."

"Remus John Lupin."

"I asked the half-breed."

"He is underage and I will be answering for him."

"Very well. Age."

"Five years old."

"Still a pup eye. Better to drop him off in the Tames, little bag, snuff out the flame before the fire if you ask me." Remus whimper.

"_Why the bloody $%&&* *&*^*&%^&$." _'We all have out right to life."

'Humans perhaps but, well very well then.."

"He was bitten nearly a month ago?"

'yes?"

'Shame John. Surely you know the registry…"

"He is a child."

"Rules or are rules. Lupin"

"get on with it."

"As you wish. Do you know the attacker?"

'Greyback."

Finn looked at Remus with disgust. "Well well doubly contaminated aren't we. A right fowl thing you are."

Remus started to cry. "I won't have you insult my son."

"You Lupin have no authority in the ministry anymore. Centaur liaison office." He laughed.

"Chin up Remy."

'Disgusting." Finn yanked up Remus and held him firmly away from himself._ "perquiro"_

Remus soaked in his breath and moaned in pain.

John's insides screamed for him to do something anything but he couldn't. He had to stand and watch his only child in pain. _"Not a monster to you anymore, is he. Shame you had to grow some sense now."_

Finally Finn relinquished. Remus lay panting on the ground. A silver and white hair came from Finn's wand. He bottled it.

"Now we know you're blood type, DNA and such are recorded. We will know if you attack, or rather win. Savage that you are now."

"Know see here."

Remus whimpered. "Now for the mark. Give me you're arm boy." Remus shook his head and tried to crawl away."

'Remus…" John said gently.

"Rather have Azkaban then? That's the price for noncompliance. Or perhaps you'd rather be stupefied."

"You can't stupefy a child, his body…"

Remus rocked himself. The man Finn yanked him up again. He took his wand to remus and the small child screamed in agony.

'There done now. Don't forget the leash and collar John. You know dogs must be kept chained up."

John walked over and picked up his son. He cradled him gently. "You are a right fowl git."

He walked out of the ministry.

**Knight Bus**

John sat down with Remus on his lap. "I'm sorry about that mate. You know your daddy loves you no matter what right Remy?"

Remus gave a soft. "Ahum."

Remus buried his head into his father's chest. John rubbed slow smooth circles round Remus's back. "I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm okay daddy." _"He's so brave. He might have been a Gryffindor. He'll never be one now. Never get to go to Hogwarts. now"_

John clutched Remus closer. Remus gave a contented sigh. "I love you dad."_"You are anything but a monster Remy. I am so, so sorry."_

"Leaky Caldron!"

"That's us."

John stepped out of the bus and into the tavern. Tom the tavern keeper nodded. "Good to see you Lupin. Don't often bring your boy do you?"

John paled. _"I will not let anyone know your secret unless I have to. I owe you that at least." _"Remus is under the weather. I'm picking him up some medicine from the apocathry. He begged to come along. He loves going to Florean's."

"All the little ones do. Take care young master Lupin."

Remus lifted his head and gave a tiny wave and they walked into the ally. "Come on now Remy. Lets go get some ice cream. You know what I always say?"

"What dad?" Remus asked softly. John stroked his son's hair.

"Chocolate, it makes everything better."

Remus gave a small laugh. _"He deserves some shred of happiness. This one last day of innocence"_ "I like that daddy. Can…" Remus looked up at his father. _"He has such beautiful eyes."_

"Can I have extra chocolate sauce?"

"Of course Remy. And how about a chocolate frog afterwards. But don't tell your mother."

Remus nodded. "Dad?"

"Yes mate?"

"I'm glad you still love me." John paled. His heart ached. _"You really really are a git."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer- I do not own **_**Harry Potter**_

John stepped into the small cottage carrying a small box of healing potions. Audrey stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands on her apron. "Hello dear."

John gave a curt nod and set the box on the table. "Hello Audrey. Is Remus in bed then?"

Audrey sighed. "He's hardly been up all day. He's so very tried and I think he's terrified. Perhaps you should talk to him."

"I can't lie to the boy. I haven't got anything comforting to say." _"what can you tell a child who in a few hours time will turn into a monster. Sorry I know it's going to hurt but hey it won't hurt me at least. Or how about wolves have more fun. Despicable really. I can't even do anything to help Remus. In a few hours he won't even be Remus any more. Not once the wolf takes over."_

"I'll try love." Audrey smiled and kissed John's cheek..

"That's all I ask. He's been wanting you all day."

John gave a curt nod and walked over to Remus's room. The sight was heart breaking really. His little son lay in bed clutching his teddy. His face was pale and well worn. He had been crying and there was a storybook on his chest."

John sat on the bed and picked up the storybook and put it on the nightstand. "Hello mate."

Remus sniffled and looked up at his father. "Hi."

John held his hand behind his head. He sighed. "Remus I need to have a talk with you."

"About me being a wolf tonight?"

'You're pretty scared aren't you?"

Remus nodded. "You know you have every right to be. lycanthropy is a terrifying thing. You are being very brave about it though." John felt his throat dry up. _"I should not be doing this. I should not have to do this." _ "And we are very proud of you."

Remus's mouth twitched. John felt a lump well up in his throat. "Very proud."

"Daddy?"

John gulped. _"Don't scare him John. Be brave. Be brave."_

"Yeha mate?"

"It'll hurt, like at the, the regestary I mean registry, maybe worse?"

"_Why does he have to be so clever?"_ John patted his lap. Remus crawled over. _"He's just a little boy, a scared frightened little boy. I will never call him a monster again."_ John wrapped his arms around his son tightly. Remus fell into him.

"I won't lie to you Remy. It will hurt terribly. But, most of the time," he sighed. "Well you're I suppose but you know what else?" Remus cocked his head from side to side.

"I'm rubbish on a broom and transfiguration as well." John shook his head. " That is one subject I got an awful mark in. My mother was so disappointed."

Remus's mouth twitched. _"One more moment of happiness; another glimpse of innocence…" _

John looked at the clock on the nightstand and out the window. It was 6:30 and would soon be dark. He sighed.

"Audrey…." He called. His wife came running in. She wasn't smiling until she saw Remus. _"Good she's being brave for him." _

"Remus you and I have to go down to the cellar. Give your mum a kiss." Remus and Audrey very visibly blanched and John's stomach did somersaults once more.

He let go of Remus. "Go on then. Just think of it as a good night. Imagine you've just had your bath. Mum always wants' a kiss then does she not?"

Remus nodded and crawled off his father's lap. Audrey came and swept him up in her arms. She kissed his cheek, his hair and his hands. John knew she'd hold their little lad forever if she could.

"Come on love. Remus and I have work to do."

Audrey nodded. Her eyes were red rimmed from holding back tears. _"I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry."_

"You're a very brave little boy Remy. Don't be scared." She sighed. "Daddy will make sure its safe. We'll be right outside the cellar."

"_It's not very safe to that. If your wards break…., he's my son. I can't leave him. I can't."_

Remus nodded. "I love you mum."

"I love you too dear."

She handed him over to John. He inhaled the scent of his son. _"Musty old books and fresh baked cookies. Such a good and clever lad. Why you Remy, why my wonderful son. Why not me instead."_

Remus wrapped his arms tightly around his father's neck. _"His grip is weak. I had no idea the cycle was so difficult."_

John wrapped one arm around his son and grabbed his wand from his pocket. He bit his lip not wanting to do what he knew must be done.

They walked into the darkness of the cellar. "Lumos_"_ The room filled with light. John sat his son down. Remus was trembling. _"My Remy. My son.. I want to cry but I most be strong for you mate. I will be strong."_

"It's okay to be scared Remus. Fear is more from rationality then cowardice. It is wise to be afraid of this. You are being very brave." John gulped. "I'm very proud of you mate."

Remus grabbed onto John's legs. "But I am scared daddy." John's heart raced. Remus was too young for this.

"I know mate. I know. Lets get this over with, shall we?"

Remus nodded. "Take off your sweater and knickers. We, we don't want them ripped do we?"

Remus shook his head and did as he was told. He shivered in the cold. The cellar was quite freezing. John nodded.

"Now then for some wards." John first made sure that the walls were sturdy and impenetrable, that the windows could not be opened. He sighed. It was common among wizarding societies to chain a wolf to the walls and make the chains impenetrable. He looked at Remus for a moment.

He could never chain up his son even with the wolf out. Something in him, the newer part moving past old prejudices said that it bordered on abuse. And for how however bad he had treated his Remus, John loved his son too much for that.

Sighing John got to his knees. He opened out his arms wide. _"One last time, one last time with my Remy before…" _He inwardly shuttered. _"No, no he's always my Remus, my Remy. He's just going away for a little while."_

Remus walked over. John pulled the boy close and squeezed tightly. "There, there now. Your mum and I will be right upstairs." He let go of Remus and pulled a piece of muggle chocolate from his pocket. He handed it to his son. Remus smiled slightly.

"Eat up."

"Okay dad." Remus said putting it in his mouth.

Sighing John stood up. He walked toward the stairs and turned around. "I love you Remus."

Remus who had finished the candy waved shyly. "Bye daddy."

"_NO, no, no, no…."_

Sighing yet again John walked through the basement door. Audrey was waiting for him. She was crying. He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to make the door impenetrable now. Rem… the wolf won't be able to get out."

Audrey let out a sob and John grimaced. He muttered some spells under his breath and placed his wand back in his pocket. The clock struck 7 and he shuttered. For very soon the transformation would begin.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer- I do not own **_**The Outsiders**_

Sighing John got to his knees. He opened out his arms wide. _"One last time, one last time with my Remy before…" _He inwardly shuttered. _"No, no he's always my Remus, my Remy. He's just going away for a little while."_

Remus walked over. John pulled the boy close and squeezed tightly. "There, there now. Your mum and I will be right upstairs." He let go of Remus and pulled a piece of muggle chocolate from his pocket. He handed it to his son. Remus smiled slightly.

"Eat up."

"Okay dad." Remus said putting it in his mouth.

Sighing John stood up. He walked toward the stairs and turned around. "I love you Remus."

Remus who had finished the candy waved shyly. "Bye daddy."

"_NO, no, no, no…."_

Sighing yet again John walked through the basement door. Audrey was waiting for him. She was crying. He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to make the door impenetrable now. Rem… the wolf won't be able to get out."

Audrey let out a sob and John grimaced. He muttered some spells under his breath and placed his wand back in his pocket. The clock struck 7 and he shuttered. For very soon the transformation would begin.

It wasn't five minutes before John heard it. The sound was agonizing tearing at his heart. Remus was screaming, horribly screaming. He was scared and in pain. There was nothing, he John could do. John almost could have sworn he heard the popping of bones and tearing of flesh. _"Remus."_

"Oh God, no, my baby, my baby." John wrapped his arms around his sobbing wife. He closed his eyes tightly shut and tried to block out the sound s of his son terrible and horrifying transformation. He felt rather nauseous.

"Argg." Remus was crying. And then for a moment, just a moment silence. And somehow the silence was even more frightening. John remembered reading somewhere that sometimes a child who transforming to a werewolf could die to the process. He shivered.

Audrey wouldn't stop crying. John sighed and then….

"Awooooooooooooo." It was frightening. Audrey gasped and pulled from her husband. She put her hands over her mouth and gasped.

"Remus." She moaned.

John bit his lips. "_See what you've done you git. When will you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut?"_

There was a crashing sound. _"He's trying to get out."_ He clinched his fists. _"I'm sorry Remy. I'm so, so sorry."_

**BOOM ! **The wolf howled.

John looked up. "How long John?"

He turned to face Audrey. "How long until its over."

"Dawn. We have more time yet. We just have to wait." And wait they did.

* * * * *

John yawned and stroked his wife's hair. _"Morning at last. It's quiet. The wolf has gone, for now…."_ He shook Audrey slightly. She moaned.

"Audrey, Audrey dear wake up." He shook her gently once more. She stirred. "MMM."

John gave a weak smile. "it's morning."

Audrey sat up. "Remus, is he…"

John stared at the ground. "I just woke up myself."

Audrey sighed and John frowned. "Go to our room and get the potions I bought. Take them to Remy's room. I'm going down to get him now.

Audrey nodded.

John reached for the wand and disarmed his wards. He opened the door. The basement cellar was dark and cold. John shivered. It was far too silent and quiet for his liking.

"Remus." He paused. "Remy, mate its dad."

"Remus."

He sighed. "LUMO." John gasped. He had found Remus. The small by lay in a puddle of blood. He was far to still. John ran to his son. _"Dear lord, please….."_

John ran to his son and knelt by his side. Remus was bruised and scarred all over. His tiny chest barley rose up and down. _"And you've said that werewolves deserve this. Don't think that way anymore. How could you?"_

John touched his son. He gulped and looked at the blood on his hands. _"What have you done John, what have you done?"_

'Remus, Remy please wake up." John sighed. "Envigurate." Remus's eyes shot open and he screamed. He then went to moaning, his voice horse and devoid of energy. John noted that his son's eyes were drooping.

"Remy, Remy its dad. Can you stay awake for me mate? Mum's upstairs. We have some potions to help you feel better; but I need you to stay awake for me."

Remus moaned. "Okay."

"_SO brave. He's such a Gryffindor, he would have been."_ John sighed.

"I'm going to move you now, alright mate?"

Remus just moaned. John put his arms around his son and gently lifted him up. "it'll be okay Remus. Dad's here, Daddy's here." _"and he won't ever mistreat you again."_


End file.
